Facing the Consequences

Recently I wrote about Martin Luther King and his assertion that real progress is not brought about by waiting.  And I suggested that sometimes it is a matter of waiting that gets the result, that taking confrontational action may not actually be the most productive approach.  And I said that I had a personal perspective to share on that, which would be forthcoming.  It’s taken longer than I expected, because, as it turns out, I was waiting for the ending to play out.  I just didn’t realize it.

People who know me know that I am an appreciator and advocate of nudity: in art and literature, in social life, in our basic humanity.  This is reflected in my writing, where casual nudity is presented as a healthy norm, not as something dirty or salacious or offensive or anything like that.  The human form is a thing of beauty; we have the entire history of art to confirm this.  It should not be hidden in shame, but appreciated and celebrated.

Further, conventional western attitudes towards nudity are not only backwards, they are destructive.  It’s not nudity that is unhealthy, but rather a clothes-compulsive culture based on shame that is.  We teach our children “modesty,” but really we are teaching them that their bodies are dirty, ugly things to be kept hidden.  Except when you’re with someone you really love.  But not family members, of course.  Even though you love them, you must never see each other naked.  So say generations of psychologists and advice-column-writers.  No wonder the kids grow up with highly warped concepts of body image.

Even worse, we then fill media with images of near-nudity.  The distinction is important.  We crave titillation, want to see a woman in a state of near undress.  Better still, completely naked.  But wait, we need to blur out the “naughty bits.”  In other words, we want to know that she’s naked, but not to actually see her naked.  At the most extreme form of this insanity, consider the Howard Stern radio program, where eager listeners tune in to hear a woman take her clothes off.  Raise your hand if you understand that.

Perhaps part of the problem comes from the way our culture conflates nudity and sex.  Granted, nudity greatly enhances sex, but there is nothing innately sexual about nudity.  But you won’t convince people of that.  Thus we arrive at the very problematic issue of pornography: a catch-all term that people use to refer to things ranging from hard-core coitus to naked people playing volleyball on the beach.  It’s all classed as “porn.”  And thus, “filth.”  There it is.  The naked human body is “filth.”  No wonder we’re all ashamed to have one.

I want to do something about that.  In my book, I am presenting body-positive nudity.  I want my readers to encounter a scene where a teenage boy takes an evening swim with his younger sister, both of them naked, and have the reader think it’s so perfectly natural and pleasant that it never occurred to them to think it’s weird.  This was in fact the reaction of one of my beta readers, and I was very proud of that.  If I engender that reaction in teen readers, it’s worth everything.

Teens, my target audience, are particularly vulnerable to body-negative messages.  They are fascinated by their bodies, and those of their peers (and potential mates), but so terrified of nudity that they use the word to refer to someone who’s topless, or wearing underwear.  We say this is as it should be, that being exposed to nudity is damaging.  Tell that to the numerous young people who have been raised as nudists.  These are people who grew up at nudist camps and resorts (never nudist colonies – there’s no such thing).  Studies have shown that these children and teens are, nearly without exception, bright and healthy and well-adjusted.  No doubt there is a correlation with the fact that most nudist parents are well-off and health-conscious, but still, these children have very healthy body-image and are not, as people might fear, over-sexed, but rather have very realistic attitudes towards sexuality.  Compare this to all the teens, who, overwhelmed by hormones, turn to internet pornography as their only representation of the human body and sex.  And we wonder why they have such unrealistic expectations.  They can hardly have realistic expectations when reality is kept hidden from them.

So to that end, I went further.  People need an attitude adjustment, I decided.  In much the same way that King advocated tension, the way the early gay-rights activists shouted, “We’re here and we’re queer!” I thought I’d show people a way.  My forum: social media, the great communications platform of our time.  I made some “motivator” posters (you know, like the ones that have a picture of an eagle and the words “Take Flight” at the bottom).  These were pro-nudity, showing images of nudity and statements about it being positive.  Thus, there was nudity.  It was pointed out to me that there was a preponderance of young naked women.  Okay, guilty.  I confess a preference for the female form.  I’m wired that way.  But also the female nude is more socially acceptable than the nude male.  A naked woman can potentially be appreciated as beautiful, by both genders.  A nude male, on the other hand, is at best hilarious (consider Will Farrell).  Beyond that, it’s pretty much a guarantee of a label of obscenity.  Ugly, disgusting, sorry to ruin your breakfast.  So yes, it was easier to find suitable female images, and less likely they would cause offense.  So I thought.

I placed these posters periodically on Facebook.  You can predict where this is going.  What little response I got was positive, but mostly there was no response from people at all.  I upped the ante a bit.  During the Supreme Court arguments on gay marriage, I realized we were still limiting the definition of marriage, and asked why we aren’t also reexamining laws regarding polyamory and age-of-consent and so forth.  With images to match.  Someone objected, sending a message to me.  So I pulled everything and started over, staying away from overtly sexual material.  But still there were images of nudity on my page.  This included families in nudist settings.  This I considered appropriate, because it is young people who most need to hear the message.

I received a “warning” from Facebook saying there had been a complaint.  But they also said they had reviewed the material and found it did not violate their “community standards.”  Okay, vindication.

And then they shut down my account. 

Right in mid operation.  All of a sudden I’m logged out, and when I try to log back in, I’m told my account has been permanently suspended.  I’ve been banned from Facebook.  For posting images of nudity in what turned out to be an ill-conceived attempt to do…I’m not really sure what.

What was I thinking?  I’m not going to compare myself to King, who went to jail and gave his life fighting for an issue infinitely more significant than nudism.  It was the wrong forum, and I ignored the warnings.  But this also shows how things have changed.  King fought in a time where everyone was pretty much seeing the same things through media.  Compare to today, where there are so many sources of information that we can pick and choose and surround ourselves only with perspectives that support our own.

Someone objected to my content and got me banned.  Why didn’t they just un-friend me, or block me outright?  Why was it necessary to get Facebook to shut me down?  It’s because we are in a culture that says we have a right to never see things we don’t like.  Blame both sides of the political spectrum.  The right tries to force a repressive morality on everyone, while the left fights to rid discourse of any words or depictions that might hurt someone’s feelings.  So we are accustomed to the idea that we should never have to see anything objectionable.

Worse, we take the next step and decide that nobody else should see it either.  “I don’t like nudity, so you shouldn’t be able to see it either.”  Funny thing, there’s stuff on the internet, and even of Facebook itself, far more blatantly sexual than my content.  Go figure.

But that’s that.  I’ll live.  Beyond the initial irritation, I’m sure I’ll eventually come to appreciate all the spare time it frees up not reading up on what my friends are doing.  True, I just lost contact with a few people, and also lost the primary way I publicize this website.  But it’s not the end of the world.

But let me just end by saying this.  If you get kicked off of Facebook (which happens quite often), don’t be fooled by all the websites saying “Here’s all you have to do to get back on.”  I followed every channel, and, apart from a single message essentially saying they reviewed my case and determined I am “ineligible” to use Facebook and that the decision is final, I have received no response to my pathetic pleadings and promises to “be good.”  Once you’re out, you’re out.  It’s not like we pay to use the thing, so they have zero motivation to reinstate anyone.  Word to the wise.


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3 responses to “Facing the Consequences

  1. Hey Bob,

    I saw that you were no longer my friend on FB. Now I know why. Sorry to hear about what happened. I have to admit that I don’t really know you, therefore I didn’t know how much of an appreciator of the human form you are.

    I will admit that I was a little put off by the nudity on your FB page. I don’t recall seeing the posters you put up. What caught my eye was your constant changing of your background for your timeline. It seemed that whenever I went to my newsfeed I was bombarded by images of nude women in nature. Now being a healthy young male and an appreciator of the human body as well, it wasn’t so much an issue for me, at first, but after several times of this happening I did eventually hide you from my newsfeed.

    I can only speculate, but I can see why someone would report you. If like me, whoever this person is, didn’t know you and they saw what I was seeing, it comes off as an older man objectifying younger women. I never did see the posters of the family or the children. All I saw was one or two of just women and then all your different background images.

    That being said, I agree with you. I think our society has a very mixed up and unhealthy notion of nudity and sex. I think it’s outrageous and insane that there are people who want to cover up and edit classical works of art simply because they contain the nude human form.

    I’ve had several long discussions about nudity and sex with various people over the years. I will disagree with you that the nude male is less socially acceptable. My determination is that the reason we see more ‘less clothed’ women is because when it comes down to it, men aren’t as picky when it comes to looking at the female form. Sure, if you were to poll a bunch of guys they’d probably say they’d prefer a slim waist, big bust, wide hips, etc. However, in true realistic conversations I’ve had with other men, we all have our subtle preferences and will generally appreciate most females in the buff. Now when it comes to women, it’s my experience that they’re a pickier lot when it comes to seeing a nude male. I think it’s wrong how we promote a super thin body shape for women by all these unrealistic runway models, subconsciously making women believe that they’re fat just because we can’t see their ribs and every vertebrae. I also think it’s wrong how we portray males. Bulging biceps, pectorals, rock hard abs, etc.

    Although I feel our society sets insane expectations on how our bodies should appear, subversively telling us we should all be lean and muscular, I do think we’re bombarded and swayed in to living an unhealthy lifestyle.

    There are days I wish I was a person on The Island, forced to eat healthy and exercise, because you know what, there are times I don’t have the willpower. I like soda, ice cream, pizza, heck, I love sugar. It’s my number one drug.

    Again, sorry you got banned. I’ve also felt that society is sometimes too P.C. The fact that you’re not supposed to talk politics, religion, or sex in polite company, or at work, in my opinion only promotes bigotry. When we aren’t allowed to express our thoughts and ideas in a free forum, we are forced to bottle it up until we can’t take it anymore which for some results in shootings and hate crimes. It’s sad that whoever took issue with your posts wasn’t able to inform you of their issue with it. I’ve already admitted that I took issue to a certain degree, and while I didn’t address it with you, I didn’t feel I needed to run to the FB police and shut you down. I simply ignored it.

    While I don’t fully agree with the way in which you took up your cause, I do commend you because at least you tried to address it. All I’ve ever done is have philosophical debates. As a writer as well I’ve also attempted to introduce nudity and sex into my works and attempted to show them in a healthier light.

    Sorry for the little rant of a comment, but since no one else was addressing it, why not.

    • Thanks for your thoughts. There’s more here than I can address appropriately like this, so I will pick up the issues in a subsequent post. I do wish more people would actually speak up, start a conversation. You say you “only” engage in philosophical debates, but from where I’m sitting that’s far more than most people do. It seems the furthest people will go to express themselves is hitting a “like” button. I think that’s always been behind what I say I do. I guess I’m a bit of a provocateur, trying to provoke a response. Most people are unwilling to speaj up; it goes back to the idea that we have a right to never see or hear things we don’t like. Then they take that to mean that, since others have the same “right,” they themselves must never express their views, lest they offend someone. I try to remedy that in my classes, warning my students at the outset that we are going to “go there,” wherever “there” happens to be. I tell them that, if they have an opinion they know people won’t like, it is their duty to share it, so that it can be examined and considered. But far too many of my colleagues confuse critical thinking with “right thinking,” and turn their classrooms into a soapbox for their own particular (usually left-wing) agenda. Students who disagree become fearful of reprisal for speaking out, so they stay silent. Great outcome for a college composition class, eh? And they’re right to feel that way; I actually overheard one colleague proudly inform another that he couldn’t possibly give a passing grade to an essay that advocated such-and-so position, so matter how well it was written. I weep for my profession.

      I will address the larger points subsequently. But to anyone else who comes by my site, I say this: Welcome. If you’ve come to look at the pictures of naked people I’ve put up, enjoy. Share them. But while you’re at it, take a moment to say something. Comment on the pictures (What’s your fave? Which ones cross the line?), tell me if you want to see more (I have others). Then look at what else is hear. I’ve written on a variety of issues, some serious, some frivolous, but all worthy of starting a discussion (except maybe the Sinatra one). Look at the prologue of my book, tell me what you think. I promise you a ripping adventure full of hope and humor and, of course, plenty of healthy nudity. If there’s anything of interest on this site, tell others. I lost two thirds of my audience when my FB got shut down, and many of them probably don’t know what happened or are aware that I’ve posted about it here.

      And if you don’t have anything to say here, then say something sopmewhere else. Start a philosophical discussion. Nothing happens when nobody says anything. Except, I suppose, people get banned. Silenced. Is that really how we want the world to work?

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